Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Our Journey To Parenthood-Part 2

The next step for us was a different fertility drug called Femara.  It works like Clomid but some people who do not get pregnant on Clomid, get pregnant on Femara.  We did about 3 or 4 months of Femara with artificial insemination.  After those very disappointing months I took a few months off.  I was tired of all the drugs, calculations, shots (a "trigger" shot to make me ovulate) and just tired of all the emotions!

I will say that the day every month, when I found out I wasn't pregnant, was hard.  Very hard.  There were lots of tears on those days and lots of "why me?!"  However, it is truly amazing how the very next day, I was at peace and had hope again.  I was already looking ahead to what our plan would be that month.  I am so thankful to the Lord for not ever letting me get down or depressed about the process.  He is so good to us and so faithful!

When we started trying to conceive, I never thought I would still be waiting to get pregnant when Zach was born (Katie and I started trying around the same time-although we didn't know it at the time. :)).  Much less at his first birthday! 

Also, I never thought I would see my best friend have two babies while I still waited.

I know that both Katie and Christina were nervous to tell me they were pregnant but I was truly SO happy for them!  I cannot take credit for those feelings because without the Lord's help I know I could have easily been bitter and jealous.  I always told them that I thought it was because I loved them so much that I couldn't have been anything but happy for them.  I am thankful that the Lord did not let me dwell on the negative feelings in this process.  I had my pity party on that one day of each month but that was it.  I also had the encouragement of sooo many faithful friends and family members who helped me stay positive!  You know who you are!  I'm not sure I have ever had so many people praying for me.  Westin's baby book is FILLED with encouraging cards, emails and Bible verses that helped me along the way. 

I would encourage you to confide in someone if you are in this process.  At first I didn't want to tell anyone, but it is such a lonely place to be.  Husbands only understand your emotions so much.  ;)  Tell a friend so they can be praying for you and encouraging you along the way.  They can also be there that one day when you just need to cry and vent.  :)  If you do not have anyone you feel like you can tell, please email me!  I will be your prayer partner and friend in your journey.

Before I get to the part of our journey that worked for us, I wanted to share some Bible verses that were very encouraging to me.  I wrote these out and kept them in our bathroom.  I read them multiple times a day and believed the promises in them. 

Ephesians 3:12  I may approach God with boldness, freedom and confidence.

Daniel 4:37 Praise and exalt and glorify the King of heaven, because everything He does is right and all his ways are just.

II Timothy 2:13  Even when we are too weak to have any faith left, He remains faithful to us and will help us, for he cannot disown us who are part of Himself, and He will always carry out His promises to us.

Luke 18:1  Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. 

Ephesians 3:14 &20  For this reason I kneel before the Father...Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us. 

There were many more verses that I read every day and will email them to you if you are interested. 

After 2.5 years, we decided it was time for the next step.


Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for sharing those scripture passages. I have been struggling with what I can say to encourage my best friend, who is waiting for a baby and is trying to be patient with the Lord's timing. I have been looking for scripture, as it always speaks to us so directly, so thank you again!

LC said...

Thank you so much for sharing your story with me. Ours are very similar and we are still waiting for our pregnancy.

Erin said...

I am not sure how I 'found' your blog but I am 100% sure it was a God thing. Just yesterday we talked with our specialist about the next big step after 2.5 of trying. Your story is giving me hope and I am so thankful you are posting about it. God sure works his magic in amazing ways. Thank you for posting your story!

Susan said...

shannon, I so enjoy reading your blog & have never commented before. My husband and I tried for four years to have a baby. As hard as it was for us, I would never change it b/c it brought me closer to the Lord and requried my husband and I to lean not on our own understanding. at one point, 25 of my friends were expecting and my brother and sister in law had only been married a year when they found out they were pregnant (and not even trying). I so relate to many of the emotions you felt and now I love to read your Westin updates to get a glimpse of where Andrew will be in a few months. I truly feel that God allowed that time so that I would get real in my trust in Him and not rely on my own willpower to get me through. I pray daily for those who are still waiting for postive plus sign & pray I never forget the emotional rollercoaster. Thank you for sharing & the decor inspiration too! :)

Stella Blue said...

You're doing so many people well by posting this story. Thank you! I'm on the edge of my seat to get more!

Hillary said...

I love love love the II Timothy verse! It reminds me of my absolute favorite verse ~

"Let us hold fast to the confession of our hope without waivering, for he who has promised is faithful." ~Hebrews 10:23

Susan said...

Hi Shannon-

Thanks for sharing your story. I love reading your blog but have never commented. My husband and I tried to conceive for 18 months and I just found out that I have PCOS, do not ovulate and my progesterone is .5, I will have to take Clomid to see if that will work. Do you mind sharing in your next post what you were diagnosed with?

I love to read about Westin and your home design and projects. I also am an interior designer and work for a small firm in Scottsdale, Arizona.

Thanks for sharing the verses, you are an inspiration to so many of us women and your story give so many of us hope.

Susan in AZ

Jennifer said...

I have seriously loved reading these posts. Even though I knew you were struggling through infertility at the time, I didn't know all the details.
What a great testimony your journey is and I know it will be a great encouragement to so many! So proud of you for sharing it!

Michelle said...

Shannon, Thanks so much for sharing your story. There are so many that go down this road who feel so alone when they are actually not. Thanks for sharing that scripture, its just what I needed to hear today and would love to know more scriptures that got you through those really hard days, especially while I'm currently on this journey. Excited to hear about part 3.

The Schenk Family said...

I am glad you shared and it touches so many lives, it helps. We struggled as well for over 2 years for our first and over a year for our second. It is so hard to watch friends conceive and give birth during the time you are trying. But God has a plan, we don't know what but I know it is there. I don't know why we have to struggle but we do. It is amazing the amount of people that come out to love on us during this time. Soak in God's love and know even though it is so painful there is hope. Keep sharing it helps!

Jen said...

Shannon, I'm excited to hear about the rest of your journey. It sounds a LOT like mine. We tried for 3.5 years (including Clomid, Femara, IUI, laparoscopy) before finally turning to IVF in 2007. We conceived our Caroline (almost 3), lost a "frozen" baby last summer and finally conceived our sweet Maggie last summer...she is almost 3 months old now! :) As much as it pains me to see that others suffer from infertility, I'm happy to see others sharing their struggles and encouraging others to seek out help when they need it!

Anonymous said...

Hi Shannon,

I'm so glad that you're sharing your story. It's such a private struggle that so many of us struggle with.



Kayren said...

These verses are awesome for me to as I was just diagnosed with breast cancer 6-8 weeks ago. I have my second treatment tomorrow. I'm going to write all of those out. I had to share that with you even though I'm usually just a stalker that doesn't leave comments.

I also had fertility issues years ago and ended up with twins on clomid (they are 17 now). It does work differently for everyone, doesn't it?

abi said...

Thanks for sharing! We are just starting to work through some of this as we have been trying for longer than we thought we would be....thanks for the encouragement.

'The H Family' said...

I'm so glad you are posting all of this!! Your faith ALWAYS amazed me...it just seemed like you knew all along that it would happen no matter what! And Westin was sure worth the wait!! ;) Love you sooo much!!!

'The H Family' said...

And pretty sure I've never been so happy or screamed so loudly or cried so hard in ALL my life as when I heard your voice say, 'I'm Pregnant!!!!' Praise God!!! ;)

Stephanie said...

Thank you so much for sharing these verses today. Isn't it beautiful how God's word never returns void. I'm not dealing with infertility and I have fortunately, not ever had to face that. Hearing stories like yours though, helps those of us who haven't experienced these struggles to empathize and minister to others going through this experience. Today though, these scriptures touched me exactly where I personally needed them. I am dealing with some very difficult things right now and this was exactly the encouragement I needed this morning. Thank you so much for ministering to my hurting heart today through God's word.

The Mama said...

Thank you so much for your openness in sharing this very personal part of your life. It is marvelous to witness when God ministers through our own, sometimes heart-wrenching, experiences. While I haven't struggled with infertility, your story has met me where I'm at this morning. Just last night, I sat crying with my husband as we again try to understand what the Lord is doing in our home. In the past six years, I have had four rounds with stage 4 colon cancer. While He has defied medical statistics, my heart and that of my precious family long for complete and total healing from this very awful disease. The scriptures you shared, are ones I can grab hold of and fantastically apply to my life. Thank you! Isn't this just the beauty of the Lord . . . working the same truths among His children though each of our stories are so different!

I have enjoyed your blog since before Westin was on the way, just never commented before! Am looking forward to "part 3" of the beautiful story God has written for you!

Denise said...

I really needed this these last several weeks. You as well as Kellyskorner and your SIL Katie have been some of my favorite christian women bloggers. I love your scripture you shared during your struggle. My husband and I have been trying for 2 years and I finally began seeking treatment from RE. I am beginning the clomid & IUI route and as you know it is tough. You have so many emotions of not being able to get pregnant then add massive horomones and try to appear normal.

I love seeing success after IF. You give so much hope for those of us still waiting for our take home babies.

Casey :) said...

Thank you for posting those scripture passages. I really needed to hear them right now. Just experienced a miscarriage over the weekend that was just devasting. We have been trying to get pregnant for quite a few years, and to suffer a loss after being so happy was and still is very hard.

Anonymous said...

I have been reading your blog for a while now, I stumbled upon it for the decorating advice...I had no idea of the struggle you had in concieving...I am 10 years in and ready ro begin a 3rd IVF soon, and was very in need of a reminder that God is always true, and right, and just. And that His plan for my life is so much more thatn I can ask or imagine! Thank you so much for this post, and know that you were obedient in sharing your story, so that He may speak to my heart this morning! God Bless you and your family! ~Stephanie

Joanna B said...

Wow, I feel like I could have written this story! And many of those verses are ones I had posted all around our house!
I am glad you are sharing your story, thanks for being so honest!

Two Little Tots said...

I remember those hard months too...they were the worst. I wish I could say that I had the same positive attitude you had during those sad days when all of my friends and family were having babies, but I was not. I was in a really bad place for months...that is when we took a break from it all and it was the best thing for us.
Thanks for sharing!